Glenda preached at our church for two nights. She preached on rejection and forgivenes. It was the most amasing sermons. I was blessed. .

She said a few things that made me think. I quote: It has been proved that at 16 weeks the baby in the womb has emotions. He or she can feel love or rejection. In th case of adoption, the moment the mother decides to give the baby up for adoption, the baby feels the rejection\”. As social worker I now have a better understanding why some adopted children have problem behaviour.  When one child is favoured in a familythe other child feels rejected. She also talked about the 5 love languages.

The roots must be removed, axd away.

We must become secure in God, find our identity in Christ.

Tonight she spoke on soul ties and forgiveness.

She started off by singing. Thn she said yYou(God)  are an all consuming fireand the perishale things will die and the rest will grow.

Her scripture reading was from Nehemiah 4. I will tell you later this weekend more about tonights service.

A few Sundays ago, I was flying from Port Elizabeth to Lanseria. I was sitting on the right side of the plane and on the left side were three couples with babies, a very young baby and then two of about 10 months old. It is about these two ten month old babies and their parents I want to tell you about.  The one was sitting across the isle from me and the other one about 4 rows towards the front. This little one across the isle from me was happy and content, she had a bottle of milk to drink and at times she sucked on bilktong. She talked to all around her in her own language. The baby sitting in front of us wan crying most of time. He moved from Mom\’s lap to Dad\’s lap and was only offered orange juice. he would have a sip and then pushed it away. I had a feeling that he was been weaned from the bottle as Mom was pregnant again. The parents next to me had a peaceful but friendly attitude. I heard a firm no from them.twice and the child responded positively.   The baby in front was not happy and the reason for his unhappiness was not discovered.He cried all the way.  I was trying to think what the reasons for his very obvious unhappiness was. Could it be that he was hungry - the other one was so happy sucking and chewing on the piece of biltong. Could it be ear ache as his crying became worse when the plane started descending? Could it be air sickness? Mom\’s tummy(she was about 6 months pregnant) prevented him from sitting for too long on her lap. He often moved to Daddy. The woman next to me said this child needs a few spanks on the bum.  At one stage I wanted to get up and walk with him down the isle The parents next to me had the middle seat open while the other parents left the window seat open. I was wondering would the middle seat have done the thing, would the bottle and the biltong kept him quiet? I was so sorry for him. The one child\’s parents understood his needs while the other one was so unhappy.

Parenting is not child\’s play. I do not think that we can blame the parents for what happened. Two children of the same age can act very differently under the same circumstances. The second child\’s parents had nothing to comfort him with. They were not as well prepared for the flight as the other child\’s parents. I cannot understand why he did not have a bottle. Parents really need patience and wisdom.

The little month old baby slept through most of the flight.

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Parenting tip for to-day.

God wants men and women with a potent vision of what He wants to do with and through their lives. Parents should work with God assisting their children to find out what God\’s plan is for and with their lives.

Are you as parents encouraging and guiding your children as they discover God\’s vision for their lives? In the first place we should parent our chidren in a Godly manner. They must see Jesus in us and then we must release them to become world changers for God.  Guiding them and helping them in the ways of God and to really understand God\’s plan for their lives. May proverbs 29verse 18 be burnt in your hearts.God has a vision for your children. He has a plan for them, help them to follow that plan, by following God\’s plan for your life and gently persuade them to walk in God\’s will.

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If one tries to parent with perfection you are looking for disaster. Parents who are perfectionists and who want their children to be perfect are looking for disaster. Perfection is linked with depression, eating disorders and low self esteem.

Children must never have the idea that parents love them because they accomplish.

If a child\’s efforts to make his bed are not perfect encourage them for the effort I hear parent\’s saying look what a mess you made of your bed in stead of saying, you really made a wonderful effort. I see the duvet needs to be straightened a bit, can I help you or do you think you can do it yourself?

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Parents how oftn do you affirm or encourage your child?

Words of affirmation:

• I am so glad that you are my child.
• When God gave you to me, He gave me a precious blessing.
• You are a great child.
• Thanks for cleaning your room.
• I admire your talbe manners.
• You\’re a joy or a blessing.
• I appreciate you.
• Thanks for helping me to tidy the house before the visitors come.
• I knew you could do it.
• You look beautiful
• That was so creative.

Unfortunately parents tend to often compare siblings, demand perfection and make harsh and rash comments in anger. Parents should have a pause button. When they do slip out parents can take positive steps can take steps to prepare the damamge. It is good for child and parent if a parent can say I am sorry.

When you have visitors be a bit more understanding of your children\’s exitement.

Prepare your children for a party and what you want them to do.

Tomorrow I am going to talk on parents and perfectionism. Tuck your child into bed tonight with an extra hug and a kiss and a word of affirmation.

I read the following in Walt Larimore\’s book \”God\’s design for the Highly Healthy Child\” and I quote

\”Many of us during our childhood days were taught or cajoledto \”clean our plates\” to finish every bit - even if we were full. Given current information I\’m sure you see the wisdom of serving smaller portions and not worrying whether your children clean their platesTeaching them to eat slowly and to stop once they begin to feel full is wise parenting.

But, you may be murmuring o yourself, if I do this, they\’ll be back in the kitchen for a snack in an hour or two.

Great! Just have healthy or nutritious snacks ready for them - a sliced apple, or peeled orange, fruit and yogurt, a soy or yoghurt shake, a whole grain snack. Leave the ready made, high fat, high sugar snacks out of the picture\”. End of quote

Hint: 

•  Develop a family culture of healthy eating,
• Eat slowly. Encourage your children to chew each bite at least ten times. Start with some fun around this.
• Only have healthy snacks around the house.
• Dont make meal times war times.
• Dont force children to finish their plates, motivate them by making the food attacktive abd child friendly.
• Encourage children to dish for themselves.
• Spend quality familytime at the table.

We can help our children to eat slowly by eating slowly ourselves.

…….

Parents do your children feel safe with you? If you have two, are both of them feeling that to the same measure, or is the one an \”after thought\”  Can they still sit on your lap even though they are quit big? Do they know that you will jump in the fire for them?

Or are you forever moaning and groaning at them.

Have a good weekend! Enjoy your children!

Take time this week to spend quality time with them. Have a fun event.  

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After watching (in horror) Focus with Freek Robinson on Sunday afternoon, I decided to write a parenting hint every day. I am very conderned about to-days children mainly because of family integration and parents who do not understand their children or who lack parenting skills. Too little time for children is also a factor. Stress and depression are contributing factors.

Relationship come before rules and disciplining. I talked to a friend yesterday and she says she is going to change jobs in order for her to have more times for her two small children and it is a step don for her in her career. And I really salute her forthat. The mutual relationship in the family took precedence and she will see the fruit.

Parents it is necessary that you have a unique relationship wih each of your children. They must never feel that my Dad or mother likes my little sister more than me.   

My hint for to-day is: Take time to understand who they are, with their special interests, talents and emotional make ups. Chilkdren is into fairness and they will complain if you do not provide equal reatment. They need to trust you to love each one equally, even if the expression of that love differ somewhat according to each child\’s uniqueness and specific needs. Parent it is not about you, it is about the child. I often cry in my heart if I see a child\’s face when there is unfairness or favouring.

Love them as they are.

Remember as I said previously:  live by your values.

But be the authority figure. This provides security in the family - first love, then relationship, then values, then rules and consequences. Be consistent but fair

James Dobson writes in his book The New Dare to Discipline on page 12 in the last paragraph \”I dont beieve in parental harshness. period. Children are incredible vulnerable to rejection, ridicule, criticism and anger at home, and they deserve to grow up in an environment of safety, acceptance and warmth\’

To-day\’s hint.  

Praying for your hildren: When I am counseling parents with children with challenging behaviour, my first question is \”Can I see your knees? How much time are you spending praying?\” In South Africa children have to face a society full of crime and other problems. Our generation was not able to shape the future. Our children will have to do it. We need to raise them to take the gospel and apply its life-changing message to every area of society, fashioning a just and righteous future for all. To raise such children is more than we can do in our own strength. They need God\’s strength. We need to pray often and fervently for our children. God can also help you to solve any problem your child may esperience - heal any illness, restore the memory, build  cells etc. Also remember to pray God\’s protection over them

Peace be with you.

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Jesus Is Precious Because He Removes Our Guilt.  Romans 3:19-26

There is no distinction, since all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, we are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption which is in Christ Jesus, whom God put forward as expiation by his blood, to be received by faith. God justifies him who has faith in Jesus.  God takes our guilt away by grace and replaces it with joy and peace.
We have heard the gospel of Jesus Christ, that the debt we owe to God cannot be paid off by our good works. Our answer is Jesus. He has grace and gives joy and peace. And it is rationally compelling to the open mind. No man ever spoke like this man, Jesus (John 7:46). He can be trusted. He is true. He endorsed the Old Testament, and it is he who speaks by his Spirit in the New Testament. Therefore, it is enough for us to hear from him through his apostle, Paul, how God has dealt with our guilt. It is the best news in the entire world. It is the only strategy that owns up to the truth of God\’s righteousness and the depth of our debt before him. Once you have been grasped by God\’s way of dealing with your guilt, every other way will seem thin and superficial and utterly inadequate by comparison. And you will rejoice with me that \”Jesus Is Precious Because He Removes Our Guilt.\”
God Put Christ Forward for Our Justification. Justification Comes Only by Faith. The final point now is that this free gift of justification purchased by Jesus on the cross only comes to those who trust in him. After Paul says in verse 21 that God has manifested his righteousness apart from law, then he defines that righteousness in verse 22 as \”the righteousness through faith in Jesus Christ for all who believe\” (cf. Philippians 3:9), then in verse 25 he says that Christ is an expiation (or propitiation) \”through faith,\” or \”to be received by faith.\” Finally in verse 26 he says that God \”justifies him who has faith in Jesus.\” So the teaching of God\’s Word is plain, and this is the gospel: anyone who trusts in Jesus for justification will have it freely. Yes, friends of my heart, fellow believers, this gift of justification, the removal of our guilt and God’s wrath, come only to those who trust in Jesus (vv. 22, 25–26). I urge you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God (2 Corinthians 5:20). Turn away from all the intellectual, physical, and religious tactics the world uses to evade its guilt, and rest in Jesus. Jesus is precious because he alone removes our guilt.
Brothers and sisters of this cell here in Maria’s house, I pray for two things to-night 1. That by your faith in Jesus you will have joy and peace. All guilt will be removed.  2. I pray for healing in your bodies. Healing! Healing! Healing! By His stripes we are healed!